What I help with
Phobias and fears that make no sense to you
You know it's irrational. You've probably been told so more times than you can count. And it still stops you. Flying, driving, needles, spiders, wasps, being sick (emetophobia), the dentist, heights, speaking up in a room full of people. Whatever yours is, your body reacts before your mind gets a say.
Maybe you plan your life around it. Avoiding the motorway, the holiday, the appointment. Maybe you've no idea where it came from. It might have started with one bad moment, something you saw in a film, a story about a friend of a friend, or maybe it crept up slowly. Either way, it isn't a choice, and it isn't a weakness.
Does this sound like you?
- Planning holidays around the flight
- A fear of being sick that runs your day (emetophobia)
- Needles, the dentist, driving, heights or lifts
- Your body reacting before your mind gets a say
- Knowing it's irrational, and that not helping one bit
- Saying no to things you'd love to do
If you nodded at even one of these, you're in the right place.
Why you can't just think your way out of it
We come into the world primed to watch out for certain things. Heights. Sudden loud noises. Things that jump out at us. Tight spaces we can't get out of. Small things that move fast. It's built-in protection.
Life then teaches the nervous system which of these are safe. A child who learns to climb, or an adult who takes up snowboarding, slowly moves heights from frightening to escapable, and even enjoyable.
Sometimes it goes the other way. One frightening moment confirms the old alarm, and the nervous system doubles down. That thing stops being something to be careful around and becomes an absolute threat to your safety, with no way out.
Knowing it's safe happens in one part of the brain. The alarm goes off in another. That's why reasoning with yourself doesn't switch it off.
How I work with phobias and fears
Sessions begin with Havening Techniques®, a gentle psychosensory method using touch to calm the system. The touch is your own, the palms of your own hands, and I do it alongside you. From there, I use Jentle Soma to work with the alarm itself, so the link between that thing and danger can resolve.
You don't have to face what you fear in the session. There's no exposure, no being shown pictures of spiders, no forcing yourself through it. We work with the response, not the object.
What can change
Clients often describe noticing the absence. The thing that used to set them off is just there, and nothing happens. Some find a long-held fear stops firing within a session. For others it takes a few more, especially when the fear is tied to something bigger like health anxiety. Every system is different, and I won't promise you an outcome.
"But Jenna, I don't want to love spiders"
I get it, and that's fair. Spiders are scary. And sometimes the dentist does hurt. We're not looking to pretend that's not true.
You may never want to go from phobic about spiders to picking them up and putting them outside, and no one should ever ask you to. But what could be possible is putting a glass over one and a card under it without your heart thumping out of your chest. Without being afraid of things moving in the corner of your eye for the rest of the day, or avoiding the spot where you saw it for the rest of the week.
Maybe you just want to get the lawnmower out of the shed and ignore them, without a full hood, mask, stick and spray. No one needs to want to hold a spider to stop spiders stopping them living in peace.
And the dentist? It could feel like an inconvenience rather than a threat to your existence.
Before and after
Before
The holiday you don't book. The appointment you keep cancelling. The lift you walk past every single time.
After
You book it and you go. Afterwards you notice you barely thought about it.
Questions people ask about phobias
Does a phobia ever go away?
It can. Left alone, many phobias stay the same or grow, because avoiding the thing keeps the alarm in place. When the response itself is resolved, a fear that has been there for years doesn't have to stay.
What kind of therapy is best for phobias?
The NHS mainly offers talking therapies such as CBT, often with gradual exposure to the thing you fear, and that helps many people. Havening Techniques® works differently. It works with how the fear is held in the nervous system, without needing exposure. If exposure has never felt possible for you, that may matter.
Can I get rid of a phobia without facing it?
Yes. In this work you don't need to confront the thing you fear. We work with the alarm, and you stay calm and in control throughout.
Is this right for you?
This work is for people who are stable and supported, and tired of planning their life around a fear. If you're in crisis right now, please contact your GP, NHS 111 or the Samaritans on 116 123 first.
Sessions are 90 minutes, in person in Walton-on-Thames or online by Zoom wherever you are in the world. Fees and booking →
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A free 20-minute call to see if this work is right for you. If it isn't, I'll tell you.